


So Dig Two Graves Cause When You Die I Swear I'll Be Leaving By Your Side

by RedSnackz



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 11:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4918198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnackz/pseuds/RedSnackz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil had a fight and Phil went to stay at a hotel. Dan finds it hard to cope alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Dig Two Graves Cause When You Die I Swear I'll Be Leaving By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I hope you like it. This is my first fanfic and I wrote it while at the hospital so don't expect it to be perfect.

Dan stared at himself in the mirror, arranging the tedious little details of himself. His hair must be perfect, his clothes must have no creases, his dark eyes must not betray the emotions that wrecked him within. As he stared back at his reflection, thoughts attacked him from the dark corner of his mind.

"Are you really going to do this, Dan?" His voice was eeir in the silence of the house. That usual smooth tone cracked and broke, "Is it really over?". But he was not seeking for an answer. These two questions had woven into monsters that strangled him in his sleep in the past month. The truth was in the silence itself, in the missing sounds of Phil's laughter in this is house. It was over.

"Perfect, wonderful, amazing.." Dan trailed off, finding the lack of adjectives. "My last day on Earth anf this is the last thing I need, search through the thesaurus for positive words." But even his sarcasm was wearing thin. His heart was not into it.

Finally,he found strength to say those words, a finality ringing in the air, "He loves him. No... I love him. It is just a bad day."

But everyday has been nothing but the worst day without Phil. Steelness and determination blazed into his eyes, "It is just a bad day" he repeated but there was something terrible in the way he said it. "And I will end it."

*************

Phil was sitting on a chair in the room of the hotel he had been staying for this month since his fight with Dan. He doesn't even know if their relationship is over or not, probably it is but he is in denial. Flashbacks of the fight started springing into his mind.

_"You're just blinded by jealousy, Phil. You aren't even beliveing me! What's happened to you?" Dan shouted while staring straight into his eyes. "You're lying", Phil kept screaming. He grabed the vase Dan's mum had given them and threw it at Dan. It missed Dan by an inch, cause Dan doched it. Dan stared at him wide eyed. He could not belive his boyfriend tried to hurt him._

He had thought that Dan was cheating on him but according to Dan he did not. Now after a month he had realised his mistake. If Dan said he didn't, then he didn't. He grabbed his jacket and the little case holding a simple but beautiful ring and tucked it in the pocket oh the black leather jacket. He got in his car and drove to a flower shop. He knew that Dan always liked white lilies so he bought a bouquet of them and headed to his and Dan's home while his brain kept yelling "You must be mad." He was going to propose before the fight and now he thought he should just do it.

*************

Dan's hands were meticulous as he tied the final knot to the ceiling. He took a deep breath and thought ironically at how even the final breath was so bittersweet.

He stood onto the chair and rearranged those black earrings and smoothed his black shirt. He was wearing skinny jeans and his whole outfit spelt one person's taste; Phil. Briefly, almost out of vanity, Dan wondered if it was the best way. He wanted to look the best today, and the red purple mark after the deal was done could ruin his looks.

More images rushed to his head; Phil's fury, his ice coloured eyes bearing down on him, telling him that the last chance was over, that he would not love him after that moment, telling Dan he was over him. It made the actual actions easier.

Dan was almost detached of thoughts as he lowered the rope to his neck, a sad little smile tugging at his lips, the only smile after his fight with Phil. One last movement and the pain and torments would be over. The smile widened further and in an almost peaceful expression, Dan closed his eyes. "I love you, Phil."

He kicked at the chair and there was no sounds as the ropes suspended him in the air.

************* 

Phil stood outside the door of their house, nervous. He held tightly the pocket holding the ring. He exhaled nervously and opened the door. He went straight to Dan's bedroom because he knows he'll find him there.

The moment he opened the door he wanted to shut it. What the fuck had he just seen? It could not be real. No, his other half, his soulmate, his everything there dead hanging from the ceiling. His body motionless and drained from colour yet he was dressed perfectly.

Phil touched his eyes and that's when he noticed he was crying. He couldn't bring himself to call 911. He sat on the bed and from the corner of his eyes he saw a piece of paper. He got up from the bed and picked it up and started reading.

**To anyone who finds me,**

**I'm sorry you had to be the one to find me.**

**I did it cause there was no reason at all to stay here. Why would I? The man I loved with all my heart left me.**

**To mum and dad: I love you so much and I'm so sorry please forgive me, but here just was not my place.**

**To my brother: We fought, we played, we cried, we laughed. We grew up together and you meant so much to me even if I didn't show it.**

**And finally to Phil: I love you. Even if you don't. I love you. But if you still loved me you would have come back home. If you still loved me, I'm sorry. Go on live your life, find someone you love and loves you as much as I did.**

Phil screamed and punched the wall. Then slowly, his hand trembling, he went infront of Dan's limp body and picked up his hand and let out a sob.

He took out the ring and placed it on Dan's finger.

**************

The day of the funeral Phil woke up on Dan's bed. He knows it's stupid to sleep and live in the room your loved one died in but he wanted to remember him forever. It was so hard to get up and every time he glanced at the corner, the image of Dan hanging flash in his mind.

The funeral was held in a small but lovely place surrounded by flowers. Lots of people attended. Phil didn't know who's idea it was but someone read Dan's suicide note. While the short old man read it he could hear sobs and deep breaths. He himself tough didn't shed a tear.

After the funeral was over and the burial was done, everyone left to go back home, except Phil.

He leaned down next to the tomb stone and started sobbing "I love you, and I'm sorry I didn't show it latley but I love you so fucking much." He took out the bouquet of flowers he had bought for the proposal, and a soft toy of a llama and placed them near the tombstone, and he headed back home.  

**************

He closed the door of their home and slid down on the floor. He took out a bottle of sleeping pills out of his pocket stared at it. Phil whispered "I'm coming with you" and downed  all the pills from the bottle. He closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank You for reading. This was my first ever fanfic so please don't be too harsh. Please pleave a comment to tell me what you think.


End file.
